The truth about thank you notes for wedding couples

I have been helping wedding couples select the proper thank you note for years, and traditions and etiquette have changed.  What used to be considered proper can almost seem a bit antiquated these days.  I try to look at the entire wedding order to help my customer figure out what makes sense for them.

The stationery purists would say that a thank you note is really from one person, and only that person’s name belongs on the top of the note.

Let’s say our bride and groom, for illustration purposes, are named Leslie and George Miller.  Leslie would order either flat cards or fold over notes with her name, Leslie Miller, at the top.  When she writes a note for a wedding gift, she would start “George and I thank you for the lovely vase”.  The same would go for George.

The truth is that many couples order cards or fold over notes with both of their names on them.  In stationery land, these are called “informals”, which is a bit of a misnomer since they are quite formal.  The proper use of an informal is really as a gift enclosure, attached to a bottle of wine or a hostess gift, or a wedding present.

Since many brides are now keeping their maiden names, the thank you note saga gets even more complex.

In the end, common sense and courtesy both dictate that a lovely handwritten note on decent quality paper is a positive gesture.  As long as the recipient can tell who has taken the time to write a gracious note, with reference to the kind act or thoughtful gift, a kind thank you note will be appreciated.