The 10 Most Common Mistakes On Wedding Invitations
- Forgetting to put the time on it
I don’t know why, but the “time line” is the most often omitted line on a wedding invitation.
Often we are so consumed with spelling everything correctly, we miss the vital facts of date, time and place.
- Putting too early a response date
The trend these days seems to be asking for responses four weeks prior to the wedding.
The truth is that unless the wedding is a destination affair, the most caterers and venues really only need to know exact numbers a week before the event. If you put too early a response date, it precludes you from inviting your “b list” without them knowing that they were a secondary thought, because the response date may have passed by the time they receive the invitation.
- Addressing the invitations by hand by a non professional
As much as I love an engraved invitation, I believe that the whole package must look pleasing. So if you are not going to splurge on lovely hand calligraphy, and there is a budget, I would strongly recommend doing skillfully done computer calligraphy with a thermographed invitation. The entire wedding invitation package should look neat and pleasing.
- Not checking proofs carefully
I cannot tell you how many times I have found spelling errors on proofs that customers have signed off on. A few people close to the bride and groom should review the proofs before they are approved and sent to the printer. Normally the stationer or designer is so intent on getting the proper nouns perfect, funny things can slip through the cracks. Addresses of venues are tricky, and should be verified, family names and middle names can prove challenging, and sometimes everyone is so focused on the proper nouns that a word like marriage gets spelled incorrectly.
- Ordering too few
In my business, clients are cautioned upfront that they should have a minimum of ten extra invitations in their order. Somehow two invitations always seem to get lost in the mail. Another odd phenomenon that occurs is that people with “wedding brain” often forget to invite the most important people….their parents, themselves or their first cousins….to avoid a last minute invitation disaster, please order a few extra invitations and even more envelopes for addressing changes or errors.
- Putting dress code near ceremony and not near reception
Most guests know how to dress in a house of worship. The tricky thing is dressing appropriately for the reception. Black tie goes near the party and not the ceremony, be advised.
- Being clear about AM and PM
Different faiths and cultures have varied traditions. As an example, someone attending a Jewish wedding may not know that the ceremony must take place after sundown on the Sabbath, so when they are invited at nine o’clock, the host must be clear that they mean in the evening. Even though the time of day may seem obvious to the host, it really makes sense to be definitive about time and place.
- Insufficient Postage
Here are the tricky things about postage. There are rules about size, weight, orientation and thickness of mailings these days. You can never be too careful about postage. Square response sets incur an extra fee for mailing. Sending wedding invitations overseas is totally confusing. We tell our customers not to put return postage on rsvp envelopes for invitations going abroad. Since the post office is raising prices each year, attention must be paid to new rates, and to new rules.
- Neglecting to hand cancel
It breaks my heart when customers spend a small fortune on lovely invitations, have them addressed beautifully and then throw them in the mailbox. Wedding invitations should be taken to the post office and hand canceled. In NYC there is a special services window at the post office that does hand canceling. There is a small fee for each envelope over 50 pieces. The post office asks that you take your mailing in early in the day, so that it will be posted before the end of the day, and sent on its merry way. Hand canceling helps you to avoid having what I call “tire tracks” run over your precious envelopes before they reach your guests.
- Not listening to your heart
This final mistake is very psychological in nature. Too often brides and grooms get talked into using wording that doesn’t really fit their situations. When a client is ambivalent about what to do, tradition is a friend. There is indeed a protocol on the best way to word wedding invitations. However after almost three decades of writing up wedding text for brides and grooms, I feel that each wedding story is unique. Some examples of acceptable breaking with tradition, provided that no one is being offended, would be including revered stepparents in the text, paying respects to departed parents (not technically correct, but I have seen it done nicely), or including grandparents who helped to raise the bride or groom. Whereas brides of yore did not have titles on their wedding invitations, a bride who is a doctor certainly deserves to have her professional title mentioned in the text, if she so chooses. The most common buck with tradition that I have noticed has to do with the mother of the bride. If she wants her first name in the wedding text, and no one objects to dropping the “Mr. and Mrs.”, after all marriage is a happy compromise on so many levels, I am not going to be the one to say no!!!!! The bottom line is that the invitation text and style should tastefully reflect the story of the people involved.