Do the groom’s parents belong on a wedding invitation?

Doctors and attorneys get emergency calls.

So do I!

One day I was walking outside, and my cell phone rang.

It was my friend, Stan.

He was so flustered, he could hardly speak.

What I finally heard was , “Vanessa, I have a stationery emergency!”

Stan had just received his son’s wedding invitation in the mail.

He was aghast at the fact that his and his wife’s names were not on the invitation.

I told him to take a deep breath, and relax.

The truth of the matter is that the groom’s parents do not really belong on the traditional American wedding invitation.  Long ago, it was the bride’s parents who paid for the wedding, with the understanding that the groom would support their daughter after the big day.  Since the bride’s parents were hosting the wedding, they would do the inviting.

Flash forward, we see that weddings are costly, and more than ever brides are wage earners.  It is very common for the parents of the groom to help pay for the wedding, and even for the bride and groom to pay for their own event.  What was tacitly understood way back then, does not fit every situation today.

Furthermore, different cultures have different traditions.  In many European countries, each set of parents is printed in the two top corners of a folded wedding sheet. Middle Eastern weddings often have both sets of parents at the top.

Jewish wedding invitations often have a line under the groom’s name which says “son of Mr. and Mrs. …..” This implies that although the bride’s parents are hosting the event, the grooms parents are contributing, or simply being recognized.   This is a good way to be inclusive, while not diminishing the role that the bride’s parents play in the event.

As I walked Stan through this explanation, his breathing became regular, and he exclaimed, “Vanessa, you have saved at least one life today.”  I wasn’t sure if he meant his life or that of his son, but it didn’t really matter. It’s all in a day’s work of a Seasoned Stationery Diva!